"Love against all odds"
Sun.Star Davao, Feb. 9, 2008

What will you do for love?

As we are about to celebrate Valentine’s Day, I asked two couples to share their heartwarming stories of loving against all odds. Read on and be inspired!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

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Opposites attract

They say opposites attract and that’s exactly what happened to Johnny and Carmen Go when they met each other 15 years ago.

“During the initial stage of our relationship, I found out that Johnny was my complete opposite. We had too many differences. He was brought up in a Chinese culture and beliefs and me, in the traditional Filipino way”, shares 36-year old Carmen who holds a degree in Hotel and Restaurant Management.

Carmen admits she was the one who truly made huge adjustments in the beginning. He describes Johnny then as a very jealous type of person, conservative, silent, and introvert while she was outgoing, showy with her love and affection, adventurous and sociable.

“Some of my friends liked Johnny and some not as they called him "kill joy". It was only Johnny who truly won my heart and broke my heart the first time”, Carmen says.

It didn’t help either that Johnny’s family and friends were against their relationship. In fact, Carmen recounts, “They didn’t like me. It was World War III! There were too many talks about me”.

However, Carmen states that despite the difficult situation with Johnny’s family, what was important for her was Johnny’s love. Of course, she felt hurt when harsh words were thrown at her or when she was given the cold treatment.

“I tried to explain everything to my family regarding Carmen, especially her attitude and upbringing. You see, my wife would answer back to my family if she was treated unfairly. So, I really tried to teach Carmen how to respect, love, understand, and be more patient to my family”, the 38-year old Johnny divulges.

In contrast, Carmen’s family accepted Johnny wholeheartedly. “Carmen’s parents made me feel welcome and were very understanding”, the dynamic businessman reveals.

The worst thing that happened to the couple was when Johnny’s parents wanted to separate them even if they already had two kids then.

“Johnny really had a very hard time and I even told him to choose his parents because they were his only parents. He can always get a new wife whom his parents will approve. I guess the words that I said opened his heart and mind to choose us”, reflects Carmen.

After that trying moment, Johnny and Carmen joined a religious group to help them overcome all the tears, pains and problems.

“It took 10 years before Johnny’s family accepted and loved me which I never thought would happen. Perhaps they realized that our love was true and strong”, Carmen reveals.

“If we were to undergo all the challenges again, we would definitely do the same thing, because look at us, we are very happy now. All the good and bad experiences made our relationship stronger and our love deeper. We have a blissful marriage. We both work hard to keep our family intact”, share the proud parents of Janica, 14; John Patrick, 11; and Charles Anthony, 4.

Carmen advises couples facing the same situation to “Fight for your love and have courage. Have deep faith in God and always ask guidance from Him”. For Johnny, the secret to a successful marriage is for “both husband and wife to be more open and communicate always. Learn to give and give and give”.

The fine-looking couple acknowledges, “God has always been great and good. He is the rock of our colorful marriage”.

***

True faith

Omar and Lianne Santos (not their real names) hit it off immediately the minute they met. Both were passionate athletes, brilliant professionals and self-confessed movie freaks. From the outside, they looked like the perfect match.

However, when it came to religion, they seemed to be worlds apart…well, that is according to their concerned family and friends. Omar is Muslim while Lianne is Catholic.

“When my family and friends learned that Omar was Muslim, they discouraged me from getting involved with him”, recalls Lianne. There were just too many Muslim stereotypes that bothered Lianne’s loved ones.

On the other hand, Omar’s family wanted him to marry a Muslim. If Omar was bent on marrying a non-Muslim, the family rule was the girl should convert to Islam.

Neither Omar nor Lianne wanted to change their respective religions. All that mattered was that they loved one another and enjoyed each other’s company.

Lianne became pregnant unexpectedly which prompted the couple to stay away from meddling relatives and friends.

After getting married secretly in civil ceremonies, they moved to a remote province to start their new life together.

“When we arrived at the place we rented, I got depressed. We really didn’t get the chance to bring our things from Davao. Our temporary house had no furniture and appliances. We had to start from scratch”, laments Lianne.

Away from their comfortable lives, the two learned to rely on each other.

Omar got odd jobs to support their daily needs while Lianne prepared for the coming baby.

When the baby was born, Lianne became a full-time mom for nine months. There were no family members or yayas to assist the couple. Omar had to help with the household chores even after a long day’s work.

Eventually, things became better. Omar had a stable source of income. Lianne practiced her profession again. Slowly, their initially empty house had the basic furniture and appliances.

A few years passed and Omar’s family started to renew their ties with him.

“When Omar’s parents saw their grandchild for the first time, the hostility disappeared”, Lianne fondly remembers.

To this day, Omar and Lianne continue to respect each other’s religions.

“Of course, pork is not part of our household’s menu. If I want to eat pork, I eat it in restaurants or parties. I try to be sensitive”, Lianne reveals.

For Omar, he keeps an open mind about Lianne’s faith. In fact, it was the couple’s mutual decision that their children will be raised as Catholics. Omar even joins his family in attending the Holy Mass as a ‘silent observer’.

“God has various names. People pray in different ways. What’s essential is that we have a Supreme Being who is in the center of our marital relationship. We promote peace and try to be good and fair to others. Ultimately, it really doesn’t matter what religion we have”, Omar stresses.

(E-mail the author at mom.about.town.dvo@gmail.com. Visit www.mom-about-town.blogspot.com)