"Happy landing, Amah!"
Sun.Star Davao, Dec. 15, 2007

When my Amah (Grandma) Tong Ha passed away last December 3, 2007 at the age of 92 years old, my siblings, cousins and I thought of a fitting way to pay tribute to her through an audio-visual presentation to be shown during the wake.

The morning after, I immediately searched for pictures from over 15 photo albums and my digital files while simultaneously browsing through websites for the most popular funeral songs.

It was a difficult task trying to focus on my work because as I was listening to touching songs such as “You Raise Me Up”, “Wind Beneath My Wings”, and “I Will Remember You”, I could not help but shed tears.

Having lived with Amah since I was born, she had always been an important and constant part of my life.

Rising sun in the east

My Amah’s family originally came from Kaoshiong City in Taiwan. She was born in Tokyo, Japan in 1915. Tong Ha means “rising sun in the east”. Amah was fluent in both Nippongo and Fookien.

She married our Ang Kong (Grandpa) Shui Seng in 1935. They had four children, Siu Sin, Josefino, Miguel and Milagros.

After Achek (Uncle) Miguel’s birth, Ang Kong returned to Manila to continue his studies at the University of the Philippines, majoring in Accounting. Upon graduation with honors, he became an Associate Professor in UP.

In the meantime, my Amah and her children stayed at grandfather-in-law Francisco Lim Juna Villa-Abrille’s home in Claveria (now C.M. Recto).

At the height of the war, my Amah who was then pregnant with daughter Milagros had to wade through murky waters while carrying her sons and a Mama Mary statue to hide in the hacienda’s shelter.

In 1941, my Akoh (Aunt) Milagros was born. Amah had to stand right after giving birth because there were continuous bombings all around Davao. Akoh Mila was originally named “Milagrosa” because it was a miracle how Amah was able to deliver her safely in spite of the chaos.

Young widow

Due to the 3 ½-year war, Ang Kong was not able to come home to Davao and see his only daughter Milagros. He passed away in February 1945 in Manila.

My Amah lost her husband at 29 years old. She and Ang Kong were only married for 10 years. I could just imagine how hard her life must have been being a young widow!

However, my Amah was a strong and determined woman. She developed several of the family’s real estate properties into commercial buildings so that she could get regular income. Her children were all able to receive their college degrees in Taiwan, Manila and Davao.

Up until her 70’s, Amah would insist on collecting the buildings’ rentals herself and would prefer to ride the public jeepney rather than being serviced by the family driver.

Grandmother like no other

My Amah was not the typical old fashioned Chinese matriarch who imposed certain rules or restrictions on her children, in-laws and grandchildren. As much as possible, she did not like to meddle in our personal affairs.

Boys and girls were treated the same and given equal opportunities in education, business as well as division of properties.

Moreover, my Ahia (Elder Brother) Jason recounted that when he brought his college friends from Manila for the summer break, my Amah noticed that, one time, they were just hanging out in the house quite bored.

So, she suggested that they watch a girly show at Square Circle and drink beer!

In high school, my Ahia would even borrow money from her for the taxi fare at 3:00 in the morning.

Indeed, she was a grandmother like no other.

Memories of Amah

I will forever remember Amah to be a very jolly and pleasant person. She was never grumpy even during the remaining years of her life. That is why for the caregivers, it was a joy to take care of her. She had no unreasonable demands and was not choosy with food.

In addition, Amah valued her health a lot that her walks around the village would take one to two hours, morning and afternoon; rain or shine. She only stopped doing her regular exercise when she was in her mid 80’s.

I think I got my fascination for showbiz people from Amah as she was an avid collector of glossy Chinese showbiz magazines. That was the only pasalubong (gift) she requested from Akoh Mila during her visits to Davao. Whenever she received a new copy, she would read the magazine over and over again.

Amah had always been thoughtful and generous. She had several containers in the old Villa-Abrille home filled with candies and other goodies to be given away as treats to grandkids and friends.

Even in her old age, Amah continued to travel with Akoh Mila, Achek Miguel and Achim (Aunt) Nene. She has been to various Southeast Asian countries, Europe, Canada and United States.

Her love for exploring other countries and cultures is something she has passed on to us. Whenever any one of us would travel, she would cheerfully say “Happy landing!” instead of “Happy trip!”. That was her unique farewell greeting to loved ones.

Thaima (Great Grandma) time

I thank God that during the past 6 months, Amah and my daughters 6-year old Anicka and 1 year and 10-month old Chelsea got to spend quality time together. Every afternoon, they would go to the village park: Chelsea in her stroller; Anicka in her bike and Amah in her wheelchair. You could say, they represented the different stages of life, the “Gulong ng Buhay” (Wheel of Life).

Amah was quite fond of Chelsea, her youngest great grandchild. Amah’s favorite masseuse, Manang Flora, recalled that a few days before Amah was confined in the hospital, Chelsea visited Amah in her room wearing gigantic shades and Amah laughed so hard at her antics.

Chelsea loved to wear Amah’s slippers and would walk around her room donning them. Amah would break into a big smile whenever Chelsea would hug her and say “I love you, Thaima”.

Awakenings

I am also grateful that for the four times in the past two years, the Amah we knew before somehow came back to us. Like in the 1990 movie “Awakenings”, because of the effects of her medication, Amah would suddenly talk non-stop and would remember certain events and people. Amah would even follow up on the rental collection. Every time, Amah thought she was only in her 70’s.

During the last time she became active on November 22, my younger brother and Amah’s youngest grandchild, Jasper, and I visited her at the CCU of Davao Doctors Hospital. She just underwent her first dialysis then and as a result became very hyper and talkative.

“Wowie ba? Waahhh...Di pyan ya suy. Kanang beng seng!” (Is that you Wowie? Waahhh...You became so pretty. You look like a movie star!)”. (**Wowie is my nickname). I was teased persistently by family members because of her comment. They strongly reminded me that she was under medication! Grrr....

During our visit, Amah called her caregiver to prepare snacks for us. It was very typical of Amah who was used to entertaining guests at home.

She was ecstatic when we shared the news that Jasper and his wife Maricel were expecting twins, the latest additions to the Huang family, in May 2008.

“Happy landing!”

Before we left her at the CCU that day, I leaned closely to her ear and told her, “Amah, I love you!”. Jasper also said the same. Instantly, I noticed that Amah became silent and teary-eyed.

Deep in my heart, I knew she understood and appreciated our expression of love and affection.

As we were leaving, I waved at her like a child and said “Ba-bye, Amah” several times, and she waved back with a smile. This is what I wish to fondly remember as my final memory of Amah. It was one of the happiest moments that I’ve witnessed in her life.

We love you very much, Amah. You will remain eternally in our hearts.

“Happy landing!” We hope you arrived safely in heaven.

***

In behalf of the Huang family, I wish to sincerely thank relatives and friends who condoled with us during our time of grief and loss. We highly appreciate your comforting presence at the wake and funeral; the beautiful flowers; prayers and masses offered; generous donations which the family will be distributing to various charitable institutions; and the food you so thoughtfully shared.

Your outpouring of love and support is something that we shall always cherish and remember!

(For your comments and suggestions, e-mail me at mom.about.town.dvo@gmail.com. Visit http://www.mom-about-town.blogpsot.com)